The Chain

I don't know,
but I always feel
weird in the fall.


The whole time,
there is a nagging in my head
as though to say
"Everything is shit"
even when it's not.


Fall just gets me down,
very far, too deep.


And combine fall
with a library,
silent and no redecorated since
the 1960s
and you've got a really
angsty person
on your hands.


Because it's cold,
grey and rainy.
And you may or may not
come to more depressing
conclusions everyday
about a guy you like 
a lot.


And you may or may not
find yourself 
buried in books
that smell old
thinking you may as well
just sit there
and pull them from the shelves
and read them all.
Except the library
closes at five


and you've got
better things to do.
But not really.


Because you can't focus.


You're nervous about an audition
among people so very talented,
so much more so than yourself.


And you don't know how
to handle 
this boy.


Because there's no way it
could ever happen...