And what if in life,
we get caught standing still?
What happens when we come
hurtling towards
our hurtful realizations?
When we come to a neck-breaking
stop, and slam on the brakes too hard?
When all of a sudden you know,
you just know, in your bones,
down to the core of
what little being is left in you,
that you may never
get out of here.
That if the opportunity arose,
you'd be financially tied.
There would be nowhere to go.
Only a stagnant sea
to stifle you, and fill your
tired lungs with murky depths.
You know,
that you are not going to be
everything you wish you could.
Your visions of the future
are so far-fetched they
could only have ever been hazy mirages.
Standing still for so long,
knee-deep in the swamps.
And then you become so
disoriented as to
lose perspective,
lose focus.
But what, tell me please,
is the focus anymore?
Shall I focus on this,
the here,
the high school, the classes,
the awkwardness associated with teenage dreaming?
Or should the focus be on the future?
On the looming horrors
coming up fast?
Or am I always wrong,
and is happiness at stake
and is that what we are all
so desperately trying for?
Is that what we ought never to
lose perspective on?
Should it always be our focus?
All our lives,
through the tribulations
dealt us in this random hand
we've been dealt by an epileptic dealer
in a seedy casino.
Am I always going to be stuck here,
in my waders in the filthy stream?
In this shady dive bar, playing poker,
betting my cheap jewelry?
Or will I transcend?
I am thinking the reality is clear,
but I chose to focus on my dreams only.
I can't bear the thought of more
stangnancy.
I cannot bear anymore thoughts of
my financial situation.
There is no small way
to push it aside.
If I am stuck here,
what is left?
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