Team

Something is wrong with me,
I'm convinced it's all my own
fault. 
And when she says
"Do these breathing exercises."
or
"Do you think you can just 
hang in there until it's over?"


I want to just scream.
Because that shit doesn't help me.
Waiting it out 
is obviously a fucking joke.
And breathing exercises
always end up in me crying.


This isn't working.
My life isn't working.


That's why I'm sitting at home,
curled up and sobbing
because nothing
matters,
nothing is working,
nothing makes
me want to 
continue.


I have two
 things I'm clinging to,
My friends
and my family.


But I still
feel abandoned.


Even poetry
is failing me.


There's no purpose.
There is nothing
here.
Anywhere.


I want 
to run far away.
I want to scream
and scream 
until I lose my voice.


I want to call people
and shout 
"fuck you!"
And hang up
because I don't like them.


I need to just cocoon 
and sleep until
forever.