Same As It Ever Was

It's 12:48. AM. I've just finished watching The Breakfast Club.

I cannot tell you how much I adore this movie.

But I what i take from it is sad.

Nothing ever changes.

Things stay as they were.

We can try to change.

But we remain the same.

It's like we're all on this stationary bike.

You feel like you're making progress.

But no, you're stuck in the same place.

It's bittersweet, really.

And I hate it.

Life is not kind.

We spend it waiting.

Admit it.

As much as you hate to say it,

it's true, isn't it?

You and I both have wasted countless hours we'll never get back doing menial tasks.

And WAITING.

It's just what people seem to do.

We wait.

For what, I'll never know?

Are we all waiting for death?

For that next moment where life seems truly precious?

I wouldn't know.

I don't think I want to know.

Do you?

It's 12:52. AM.

And I'm not tired at all.

But I'll go to bed soon.

Just for fear of becoming thoroughly insane, right?

Sure.

I can't tell you how many scenarios are playing themselves out in my head right now.

And I can't tell you I'm happy.

But I'm not sad either.

I'm bittersweet.

And I'm stuck there.

Because that's life,

And I am but a small pebble in the tides.

And I will forever wash up on the beach,

And be drug back to sea again.

I don't like that prospect either.

What can I say that won't offend you?

What can I do that will prove I'm still sane?

What is sane but a state of normal to the extreme?

But aren't we all normal?

We're told we're all special.

All individuals.

Right?

But are we?

Or are we all the same?

Or at least, similar?

Maybe we aren't as special as originally intended.

Although part of me still believes we all are special.

All individual.

I'd like that.

Or maybe not?

It'd be like being my own island.

I'd be isolated if I were different.

Isn't that what happens to things that defy normal?

they're locked up.

Put on display.

Or killed.

And the later happens a lot.

It's 12:57. AM.

And I think I should stop soon.

Before I ramble on into the wee hours of the morn.

Which I could do.

But will refrain from.

And off I go.

And by the way.

I love you?