Stand Up.

I'm a little bit on the edge. But I'm walking away. One little, waddle-y baby-step at a time. Backwards from that cliff that gets me sometimes. I'm jumpy. I'm nervous. I've been on the brink of crying for nearly an hour now. I have nothing to cry about, but I can feel the little salty tears pushing to get free. And I'm so upset, but I'm also kind of happy. But mostly upset. I don't know why. Well, I kind of do, but it's so stupid. I'll ignore it. Because it's threatening to swallow me up. So I'll continue doing whatever presents itself to me. Most likely this will be cleaning. Or baking. The two things I lean to when I'm really upset. I'm just... jittery. It's a horrible feeling. And I feel like I owe my parents way too much. That looming feeling is not comfortable at all. They've done too much for me and I just ask for more. There's no repaying all they've done for me. Or all they haven't done. Because I still can't just talk to them without feeling so stupid... so utterly idiotic. They really bring me back down to the fact that I'm 16. I'm a worthless 16. The supposed "Best Year of Your Life"... bite me. Because being 16 gives one no more freedom than being 15. Or 14. Or 13. Nothing's changed. I'm still a teenager. Still someone adults shrug off due to my two digits. 1. 6. There are, of course, the exceptions to every rule. And I know adults who listen to me and take me seriously and treat me like a human being. That's a highlight. But honestly, I'm degraded day by day. And high school is the most degrading thing they've come up with. I need to get out of here. If I ever get out here... It's like "Band on the Run". (Good song.) But I'm still at the point where Paul's singing about how stuck he is. I'm not yet to awesome adventure-y part of the song. I get there periodically, only to be sucked back down to my own level. The level full of some of the most insightful people I know, but also some of the stupidest, most ignorant too.

And I could do without the ignorance and high-school-ish factor.

Can I be above that? Just age a little bit? So that my seemingly maturity can match my age?

There are other reasons for the aging, but really... who's going to care?

Well, I can't do this anymore, I'm going to clean and play Galaga.. because it makes me happy.

Let's hope this all blows over...