Lyrically heavy songs as of late.
Songs you have don't particularly
Think about. But you can still feel
The full weight of the words
Hitting you in the chest with an
Enormous amount of force.
Enough to topple one over
If one is not paying close enough attention.
And so it goes, I guess.
Caught off guard by music
And then quickly reminded of what
Exactly I'm doing here.
Or what I'm trying to do here.
Perhaps what I'm only imagining
What I'm doing here.
But really, this'll be selfish.
But I think it's ok, maybe.
It doesn't matter what
Anybody thinks
Of what I plan to do,
Honestly.
This is, surprisingly,
The first time it hit
Me with a full force.
The weight of the realization
Crashed down
Like waves at the beach.
I shouldn't care so damn much
What other people think about
What I want to do with the rest
Of my life.
The criticism always got to me,
(It still sort of does, but it isn't so bad now)
People always saying negative things.
Always going
"What do your parents think about that?"
I realize they've taken care of me for 16 years,
But that does not mean my life is their life.
It honestly doesn't matter what they think.
(In all due respect, of course)
And I'm thinking of hanging up
A lovely photo of Columbia
And a photo of New York
And looking at theme everyday
As to remind myself
Of what I'm working towards.
Despite whatever those stuffy people
Say about this, I don't care.
I've always had incredibly high standards for myself.
I always have a vision of my overly-ambitious dream future.
Perhaps I'll someday meet those expectations.
Perhaps.
There are few people who matter
Who've told me to go with what
I actually want.
What the other ones are thinking,
I'm not sure.
But I'm am newly determined
To end up among people
Who understand this.
I already know a few.
And I love them more than anything.
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