How Long, Diana?

So I certainly love my friends.

I don't understand how I survived

before them.

There is something

so grotesquely comforting

in a bout of unrefined laughter;

in insanity at its finest.

There is something so perfect

in knowing that this group of people

is so close. We are close enough to

discuss our fights, to talk about 

anything. To admit everything to each

other. I am unsure of how people

exist without such a network of 

wonderful, beautiful people.

And yes, my friends are beautiful.

They are a such pretty girls, and

they ought to know it, people

should tell them, because they are

superb-looking.

And they are beautiful people 

inside, too. There are aspects of everyone

I admire so deeply. They all do things

that are so lovely. 

I love them, you should know.

They are the most important people

I know. 

And as we lie awake in the dark,

dark morning hours, staring at the

ceiling, and talking and talking,

it is so mundane sounding, I know,

but it is nearly my favorite thing to do.

Talk to these people, in the dark,

as we try not to fall asleep

and as we are all very warm.

And that we can talk about everything

is fascinating to me. I've never realized

so deeply before, that I cannot trust

any other people so deeply with all

I've ever told them. It strikes so deep 

in my heart, that these people and I can

speak so simply of anything,

anything at all. Everything;

we talk about our lives, the state of the world,

this war, people smells, arguments and politics,

and yes, we talk about boys, and we talk about

school, typical.

And in the absolute depth of night,

every time we ever have a sleep-over,

there are two, and we talk for a long time,

as everyone is asleep, because somehow,

we are always very alive very long after 

everyone else. 

I will tell her my love-stricken feelings,

and she will tell me about her actual 

love, her boyfriend. And we have these silly,

very serious, very interesting conversations

about boys sometimes. I have come to 

trust her so much in such matters.

And she is so understanding and we

can really just blab blab blab about whatever,

but boys especially. 

And sometimes I tell her things

and it will be the first time

I admit a certain thing aloud,

to another human being for real.

It's always so startling.

To conclude:

I love my friends,

basically more than 

life itself. 

(Although they are the only

reason I have a life)