These Days

There are times when I am painfully aware

of life.

As in,

what I am doing with it now,

where it is going,

where I want it to go,

and how I will push to get my life

there.

How will I 

judge my

living 

versus my existing.

Am I currently existing

or living?

Will I be who I want to be someday?

Can I get it together enough

to be happy with my life?

How much debt will I accrue

in college and how will I deal with it?

Where am I going to travel to,

how will I get there?

Who will matter the most

and what will I do to 

show them their importance?

I refuse to settle.

"Lack of passion is fatal".

There will be failures.

Mistakes.

But there will be triumphs.

And victories.

Someday I want to wake up

and be exactly where I want to be.

To have no regrets, no second thoughts,

no desires- if only for a moment,

is my single greatest desire in life.

To be contented fully for any amount of time.

We are all striving toward something.

There are fears and aspirations nesting

in each soul, they are trying to bloom and

become realized. 

If we could only go out,

all of us,

and grab at our goals

and make them real,

hold them above our heads

in sheer, magnificent wonder,

and triumph.

If our goals were all accomplished,

if we could all work towards something

with such fervor and passion as to make

it a reality.

I cannot imagine what would come of the world.

We could stand in awe of the wonders of human nature.

The content would be palpable in the air.

If nobody had to settle

and we could all accomplish our

dreams. 

There are small longings 

sleeping in the foxholes of

our hearts, which strain to pump

the blood of being, of living

into our limbs.

To stir an exuberance 

into our spirited souls,

stoking the fires of our passions

to push our sails to straining,

so we may cross our seas.

So we may all live.

We are all striving for validation.

For lives we dream of.

I will not settle.

We should not have to settle.