Let's Get Lost

Sometimes you find music

and it's like

"Oh my god. This is music."

It's astonishment

in a way too subtle way;

it's being swept off your feet

by a guitar.

And my brain is a little

whacked out

on

Elliott Smith

right now.

And it's dark outside.

It's been dark for too long,

the sun set too early,

and the air...

it's cold.

I can't stand to think of the onset of

fall, I can't even imagine.

Fall is my least favorite season,

it makes me mad and unhappy

and I hate it.

Autumn can get skipped for the

rest of my life.

Like, winter,

that's ok, there's snow,

and you can wear scarves and

make snow angels and drink cocoa

and sing Christmas songs.

Fall is just cold,

dark.

Unfeeling.

It's death all over the place.

Everything is dying.

Why the hell would anyone's

favorite season be fall?

How can anyone enjoy watching

the leaves all die and fall off

and leave the trees so exposed?

If there is one singular thing

I hate most about fall

it's the naked trees.

The trees become spindly

and bare.

And then I forget how beautiful

green leaves are.

I forget by the time winter comes in,

that once, the trees were beautiful,

not sad-looking.

Fall isn't allowed to come

this year.

I forbid it.

(Because I hold so much sway

over Mother Nature as to persuade

her to skip seasons, of course.)

I forbid the change in seasons.

I am getting slightly antsy about

school on Wednesday,

I mean, how can one not be the slightest bit

anxious?

I'm just a bit anxious.

A small little bit.

And I love you,

silly boy who

is much too often the object

of my thoughts, dreams, and

mindless scrawlings.

I just try to hide it sometimes,

try to get it to cease,

this weird affection.

But it doesn't,

and I think I shall love you

for a very, very long time.