Do They Know It's Christmastime?

I hate feeling sick all the time.
I hate feeling weak
and exhausted
most of the week.
I don't know what's wrong with me,
nor does anyone else.

But I'm tired of being sick.
I want to have enough energy to
stand in choir
without my knees quivering.

I want to stop feeling dizzy
all the time,
and so tired and lethargic
I can't be bothered to do anything.

I'm too weak to go work out,
because it'll make me hurt even more.

I couldn't sleep last night
due to restless and aching bones
all over.

What's wrong with me?
All the blood tests always come back fine.

Is it all in my head,
the pain and the dizziness
and the lethargy.

I know the general distaste for life
is up there,

but the physical is different, right?

And I need to stop being so pissy
and angry all the time.
I don't feel like myself
when I'm angry.
I need to sleep
until I wake up semi-normal again.

Just enough to look human again,
just enough to get it together
and not collapse when everyone
looks away
into a little dusty heap of bones.

I'm sorry (not sorry) for complaining,
but I honestly can't even function.

It doesn't even matter that break is pretty close,
or that I have a lot of good plans coming up,
I have no energy or excitement for anything.