Cinders

I shouldn't be awake.

I should be sleeping.

I told myself I would be.

And I'm not.

Instead, I just had to say,

I got my license today.

And it was somehow tainted.

There was no dancing and partying

And being happy for the little jolt of

Freedom

I now possess.

There was only a very awful

Photograph for the little plastic card.

A little bit of happiness from my friends.

It didn't feel like it should have.

I wasn't at all thrilled.

Mad

Is a better way to put it.

And I'm still

Mad,

I don't know why.

And I had this extreme burst

Of love-stricken panic

Obsessiveness.

Some highly suppressed embarrassment,

Somehow.

But mostly

Just that feeling of hopeless longing.

Tossed out to stormy seas.

We can never be,

And I'll say such teenage things over and over again,

If only to convince myself of it.

Why did I have to fall for you?

Adieu and goodnight.