The Ghost of Rockschool

Why is crying the only cleansing measure I can think of?

Not that I am, right now,

But I'm about to.

Why is it that the stupid, underachieving kids

Have the most fun?

Don't have the same pressure on them?

To succeed? Go to a Good College?

Be 'somebody' in a world of 'nobodies'?

Why does it have to fall on the good kids?

All the pressure to do something

"WORTHWHILE"

With our lives?

Giving up is the easy way out.

But,

I've come to far to "give up" now,

Or have I?

What the hell have I done in my life

That makes me worth my salt?

Answer: I've followed all the goddamn rules.

I've never done anything out of line.

Anything strictly for me.

How narcissistic, right?

I'm going to disagree.

Living a life just to 'live a life'

Is not acceptable

In the Audrey Metzger School of Philosophy.

(Yeah, I've got one of those.)

Neither is following the rules for the sake

Of following the goddamn rules.

And you know what I'm going to do about it?

Nothing.

Because I'm just too overwhelmed and

"well-intentioned" to do anything about it.

I can't go and skip school for a day to go to a museum.

I can't wander the streets at night

And soak in the hours of day I relish.

The hours that are so sacred.

I can't take a cold shower in the middle of the day

On a Wednesday because I feel like it.

I have to be 'successful' so I can 'succeed'

And 'make something out of myself'

And live a 'good life'.

I've got to live the way I've been raised

For Christ's sake, it's getting

Ridiculous.

I'm restless and lost

And broken.

Just fed up.

I've had it.

And I can't change it.

I'm so scared that my life is going to be dictated by

Somebody else.

By the choices I have no choice but to make.

When,

Dear god,

When?!

Does my life become my own?

When can I say "fuck you"

To all of this pretentious shit?

Too much pressure.

So much, I'm paralyzed.

So I just continue down my pre-destined path,

All goody-two-shoed and all of that jazz.

Doing my homework

Sacrificing my soul.

Do we all drown in this mediocrity?

Does everyone of us die everyday?

If not,

Tell me, please,

When do we get to the point where

Life doesn't make us want to puke?

Somehow,

Even college doesn't sound fun anymore.

Another four years of my life I'm not so much looking forward to

Now.

Needless to say,

I have no fucking clue what to do with

My life.

Have a good President's Day, guys.

At least Old George and Honest Abe knew what they were doing.