Hello? Is This Thing On?

Oh. Today.
Today was good.


Good because 
of this lovely thing
called film.
With the lovely people
collectively known 
as my mafia family.


We do not kill people.
Instead we make videos.
And now, a film.


Scripted, cast, filmed,
and currently in the editing process.


For those who do 
not know the joys
and frustrations of 
Final Cut
you probably do not understand
the overwhelming catharsis
it provides.


Razor blade tool.
Snapping.
WAV files.
Bad TV.


Watching scenes.
Cutting them.
Arranging.


Laughing
and watching
and making something
rad
with people I 
enjoy so much.


Working towards a goal,
throwing your whole self
into it. 


Beautiful.
Exhilarating.
Gorgeous.


I left my appointment
in the sad building of mental health,
and,
you don't know know how great this is,
I go back and walk into the room
to see three amazing human beings
in various states
of A/V geekdom.


Working in Final Cut.
Sticking the brand new fancy
camera to whatever surface they could.


I never tire of these hours.
Of this work.
Of this tedious, detail-oriented job.
The stress and deadlines
add a thrill I love,
for once.


And I had a sad thought,
what if there is no film after
high school?


And that hit hard.


No film?
No tapes?
No Final Cut?


No... rendering?


Oh god no.
I love that.
I sort of need it.


Two passions, I think:


Poetry.


Film.


And so a new adventure may begin.