Morning Comes

I just want
to feel better.


I feel trapped.
Yesterday was going so well.
I felt alright,
I listened to music
and wrote a poem.


I hadn't done that
for a while.


But today I woke up
and felt shitty again.


I don't know if
this is the normal sadness
or if this is the sinking sadness.


I cannot recall what I
did to deal with this
before it
collapsed in.
Or if I dealt
with it at all.


I can't figure it out.


I can't feel better
because I don't know how.


I want to lie
in bed
and go back to sleep
but it's way to hard
to get up again.


I feel so closed in,
in a routine I can't
relate to,
in an environment 
which lends nothing
to me,
I am not
fulfilled.
I am not happy.


How can I get there?