Jesse Jane

Life.
Is not about worrying
over the small details.
it's about living them,
joyously and happily.
It's about tossing out 
the bad, to make more room
for the fantastic.


Because I can honestly say
(at this very moment)
I am really, really
content.
Because, well,
fuck chemistry.
So I failed a test.
It's one.
In the grand scope of my life,
it does not matter.


I can revel in the fact that
I am.
We are.
That I have had a damn good week.
Not because my school life is going
well, not because being home is good.
But because I have friends and I love them
and they are rad human beings.


Because this week has been
steeped in poetry.
Because I got over needing my sad playlist,
because part of me has taken on this 
mentality I think I have momentarily
gained from my dear friend Marie:
"I'm awesome!"
(It really should be in all caps...)


Who actually cares
about failures?
Right now, 
I don't.


I care that I went dancing in the rain
with one of my best friends,
and two other really nice human beings.
We had fun.
And jumped in puddles
and danced and sang, and got
soaked.


It was the perfect rain for dancing.


And I'm happy for Marie's current happiness.
And I'm happy for the sake of being happy.


It's so much better than 
any other feeling.


And I'm getting past that trench
I fell into earlier this week.
The trench being the fact that he's got a
girlfriend. (which, still, he should)
I decided it's not worth being so down about.
Because that's now,
the future could possibly be different.


It may even swing in my favor.
I'm feeling rather optimistic today,
and a big part of me says
"Anything's possible".


Because damn straight.
It totally is.


And maybe someday he will love me,
because I already love him.
And maybe someday we could like,
be.
The thought makes me happy.


As far-fetched and preposterous as it is,
I like to imagine it could happen.


He's a sweet guy.
He's also entirely ridiculous,
really intelligent,
and way too hard on himself.
But he's funny, and silly,
and I'm not really sure
what my life would be like
without him.


So, today,
I am optimistic.
I shouldn't be,
but I am.


And I will boldly proclaim my love
for dancing in the rain, 
for poetry,
for life being lived,
and for this boy.


I love all these things
withe the entire extent of my
heart.