Axiom

Lately
I've been getting scared
late at night,
about leaving.

About being far away
next year.
Because I love my family
and am scared to leave them.

But this only happens so late at night,
I get delusional and
cry,
because why would I leave?

Why would I do that?
Why do I need to be so far away?

And yet it's the only place I know
I belong.
But I will miss them so terribly.
My poor family.
I will be so sad,
and it will be hard to come home,
the train ride is 12 hours.

I'll have to wait for holidays,
I'll have to settle for skype and 
texting,
and I will be scared
and lonely 
and sad
with such distance,
at least for a while.

It's scary,
to think about.
And in the dark and
the calm
it's all I can do to 
not go and hug my parents
and wake them up. 

I can't really think about the future.
At all.

-----

On a lighter note.

It's snowing,
it is snowing and it's beautiful
and it's making me so, so happy.
I don't care if it sticks,
I don't care if there is absolutely no accumulation.
It's snowing dammit,
and that's awesome.

And we're having Thanksgiving II
at my house today,
for the first time ever.
It's going to be nice. 
I'm excited.