Looking Hot

The stars are so clear tonight.
I stood under them for a while,
and the longer you stare,
the more that appear.
From the depths of the sky,
stars.
And they are so old,
and probably dead,
but I don't mind.

Because they are beautiful.
And there was Orion,
and so many beautiful clusters,
a bright planet.

And I said, Ok.
Ok, and breathed.

Because it was nice.
This weekend is nice.

It's nice to do stupid, silly stuff.
It's nice to eat dessert.

Being out and laughing,
that's good.

I am fond of this,
nostalgic, but fond
of this newness.

If I can just keep driving,
just keep laughing.
So long as there are stars
in the clear night.

Something different
has emerged.

And that's ok.

People walk in and out 
all the time, life is a series of open doors.
Yes,
open doors.
You can come and go as you please,
in this life.

So I'm welcoming new nights
and new walk-ins and
opportunities.

You have to embrace.

And that's ok. 

And I think I'm ok with everybody.
He and I are no longer pissed at each other.
But I miss him in a weird way,
I miss closeness.
Conversation.

I just want to sit and talk to him
for a little while
about things.

I am worried for the future,
worried things will be weird
or distant or awful.

I am worried about the future.
I paid for some apps today.
Eugene Lang has all my information.

I have no idea when I'll hear from them.
I'm not sure I'd want to know.