Waltz No. 2

I hate all those romantic films
and songs and novels
about how things work out.
How they realize and
fall in love.
How none of it matters anymore.

I hate how easy it looks.
How simple it is
for everything to straighten out.
How they lean in to kiss
and the world becomes
magical and good.

I hate how in those
movies and shit
age doesn't matter,
occupation doesn't matter,
the world doesn't matter,
society doesn't care.
I hate just how fake that is.

I hate watching these shows
where everyone gets to 
love who they want
and nobody finds out,
or nobody cares.

How hard is it in real life?
Impossible.

I don't think anyone will ever
be able to love me wholly,
simply because I am a little far gone.
A few too many things are wrong with me.
I am too unpredictable and sad
for anyone to love me
or buy me flowers.

No man will ever love me enough
to hold me and tell me it will get better.
Because if by that time that needs to happen,
things won't get any better.

I just wish he would show up
and ring the doorbell
with hydrangeas in his hand
and say he's been worried.

That will never happen.