Girl on Fire

I haven't posted here in probably about an eon,
(Tumblr is an addiction),
but I've been kind-of spilling my guts and 
I feel like I just need to full out 
spill it, because I'm going insane.
I like having my thoughts all
orderly and typed up
and who gives a shit who sees them?
(Except you know people I know,
like on Tumblr,
because that might be bad).

But hey,
life is life
and my life got weird.

Friend came home from being away,
friend I kissed
in May.
And we'd been planning to go out clubbing
since July,
through e-mail
because we're dorks and that's how we communicated 
for most of the summer.

So last Friday I was gettin' all jazzed up,
gonna look rad,
gonna see this guy,
gonna club with my best friend.
Sounds great.
Then it got better
and weird.

Clubbing was a total fucking bust,
so lames, nobody was out,
Columbus was deeeeadsville.
But we were all wandering about
and my dear best friend and I decided
to make boy feel uncomfortable by
taking him into a sex shop,
which best friend and I had been in before.

It's like an ice-breaker,
she and I are just crazy and don't even care.
He is obviously kind of uncomfortable
but intrigued.

Then since clubs = lame
we drove and around and sat in a parking
lot and played truth of dare,
(what are we, 12?)
and of course,
best friend is like
"I dare you to kiss her"
so we kissed again.

He tried to slip me some tongue.
Then it was 
"I dare you to take your shirt off"
so he's in my passenger seat shirtless.
cute and pale and lanky
and pretty and I just wanted to touch him.

And so things escalated and he touched my boobs
and then we were like 
oh well we really want to do things to each other.
It's like 1:30 am.
We are driving back to best friend's house
because she has graciously offered us her spare bedroom
for a while.
She is a good wingman.

So I'm all shaky and excited
because like
what is happening we're going to get naked together
say what?

And that does indeed happen
and he is so sweet and so lovely
and I don't even feel self-conscious
and I don't even flinch pulling of his underwear
and woah what is life?
What am I doing at 2 am in my best friend's
spare bedroom naked with the guy I like?

Life happens.
Things happened.
But we're both still virgins so hey.

And now we're like, friends with benefits
because we got all sexy on Facebook chat 
(we are socially inept)
and now we sometimes send inappropriate texts.

So that's the story of how in a weekend
I went from super-virgin
to slutty friend-with-benefits.

It still does not make sense.