True story.
I was literally at school for the entirety of three periods.
First. Half of second. Maybe 15 minutes of ninth. And tenth.
Taking a test based on my ability to bubble in a letter corresponding to correct grammar
And mathematics.
I missed the class that knocks me into the ground day after day.
Today it was sort of like getting pummeled by an NFL linebacker
(And while I don't know the function of a linebacker, I assume they're very large, hulking men)
I missed stuff.
Stuff I'll need to know for tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Test.
Essay.
Calamity and chaos
In large quantities.
Totally rad.
Today was just... off.
Horribly off.
I think I gave up on studying at like, six.
Maybe five-thirty.
I gave it a solid two hours.
I'd better know my facts,
Or I will be murdering myself over it later.
As per usual,
You could say.
My hands are so chapped right now,
That I cannot grip things.
There are tiny spots of blood all of them.
My hands are so horribly ugly, it's insane.
It's painful too.
Yet another reason to hate cold weather,
Chapped hands.
There seemed to be a lot I wanted to say.
And now I have seemingly forgotten it all.
Possibly because "Turning Japanese" just started to play.
A real thought-train interrupter, for sure.
Stress.
It gives you ulcers.
Makes you go insane.
Causes depression.
Etc, etc.
Aka- it is not good.
So why is stressed heaped upon us in contemporary American society?
It's a mystery.
A disgusting, unsolvable mystery.
Because people fear confrontation.
People don't want to look at their evils.
Nobody wants to admit weaknesses and mistakes.
Nobody wants to the ugly side.
Guess what,
It's time we got over ourselves and owned up.
Society is sort of a failure.
And the whole is only as strong as its parts right?
Meaning, individuals sort of fail, too.
A sad, depressing state, am I right?
To accentuate what may be seen as positivity,
I'm alive, I'm not failing any classes,
The kid I got paired up with for a project is actually really nice,
And today you said to me "I don't think you can disappoint."
What a compliment.
No, really, I was on the verge of blushing.
(However silly that may seem)
I hate how much I like you.
I'd better get back to droning through my somewhat-devoid-of-meaning life,
Because after all, it's all about how I do in school,
Not how I feel about things, not my opinions, or my words,
My passions, who I actually am.
It's school.
I have been hopelessly defined by an institution for the past 10 years of my life.
When do I get my chance to speak and be heard?
When I talk to him,
I feel like he listens,
And maybe, some small part of him
Harbors care,
Maybe he cares about what I say.
One of a select group that attempts to care.
What a nice thought.
Sometimes,
I am heard.
But it's still not enough.
Because I'm selfish.
Adieu, lovelies,
And I hope your lives all have more fulfillment than mine currently does.
I really do.
Because somebody's gotta be happy in this world.
Good evening.
I love you.
Sadly.
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