That photo you see over there? I took that one. Obviously, it's a photo of vinyl records. I think I've failed to mention that I like records. So:I like vinyl records.
I sort of collect them.
How hipster of me.
Aside from the fact that I like records,
I feel like my head is going to explode.
Literally, figuratively,
However you choose to see it.
Because in reality,
I actually feel like I have a sinus infection.
It only took near a week for that to happen.
So physically, my head's going to explode.
I have enough homework to kill someone.
Which is an utter and complete lie.
It's not really that much.
I have the list on a little yellow sticky note to my right.
It reads:
Math Problems (Because math is not asexual, and will not do itself. A sad fact.)
Essay Revisions (Because I'm not good at writing essays.)
Shelfari (I think I need to do some book reviews on there.)
Essay outlines, in-class and unit 2. (Because my life is a series of essays.)
Pamphlet. (On the Navigation Acts, because I am 1700's colonist.)
Primary source/decade. (Because I'm not meeting my pre-determined goals for these.)
And so it goes.
I must do these things.
In addition, I must try to make my life seem less mundane and attempt to actually do things I like to do.
Like play guitar, and write poetry, and read, and sleep, leisurely ride my bike.
Of the things in that list, I can name only two that may be accomplished today.
Sleep is one of them.
Sometimes I think that my life has been overridden by some maniacal hacker
Who decided that life revolves around the commands of others.
Because that's what my life is sometimes reduced to:
Doing what others tell me. All the time, without fail.
When do I get to be me?
(Outside of this blog)
When do I get to pick up my guitar and play "Yesterday" until my fingers go numb?
When do I get to read without having a nagging feeling that I'm procrastinating?
Answer:
When I'm done doing what people tell me to do.
If I wasn't such a weenie,
I'd do what I wanted to do,
When I wanted to do it.
But, being a weenie as I am,
I follow orders.
I do my schoolwork and behave like a good little girl
And sometimes,
Yes, sometimes,
That's too much.
Sometimes white-bread suburban is much too flustering for my taste.
That's when being a worthless bohemian sounds the most pleasant.
So I'm thinking of trying to stave off my internet affliction for a week again.
Maybe I'd get something meaningful done.
Then again, maybe I'd just do homework.
Just more homework.
I'm not sure.
What would be the point?
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't become enlightened after such an experience.
That only happens in films, where people somehow magically have the means to do everything.
I can't do that.
I don't live in a film.
If I did
I'd want it to be an inspirational, adventurous, romantic, cliched comedy.
Yes.
That is the film genre I'd want my film to be.
And I wouldn't listen to what other people told me to do,
Or what they thought of me.
I would be my own person.
Quirky and hipster?
Or would I be myself?
Can one play one's ownself in their film?
Sure, I see no fault with that.
Ok.
Time to go.
Because you saw that to-do list.
And you saw my "need-to-do-for-sanity" list too.
So I've got to get working on that to-do list.
Because sanity is put on the back-burner a lot.
I think that's true for all of us.
Don't you?
I leave you to ponder the great mysteries of life!
Good bye!
adieu!
I love you!
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