Stand By Me.

That over there,

Yeah, that's one of the amazing chalkings we did yesterday.

And today?

The Crazies (minus Amanda. D:)

Went to the fair.

And it was so awesome and funny, and lovely.

And regardless of how amazing things are,

That's not why I'm here.

I'm here to have a little pre-break-down.

As you know by now,

I've got a showing and funeral to attend in the next two days.

I am fretting.

I'm scared.

I feel like a little kid who got lost in the mall.

The feeling of stranded panic is the same between the two situations.

Funerals are for the living,

For "It's the living who need the dead".

I don't know who wrote that, but I know it's from a fabulous poem.

But I am not one of the living with whom funerals sit well.

And while I realize that nobody enjoys funerals,

It provides a sense of closure.

For most, as I can understand.

I'm not one of those people.

I don't want to see a casket lowered six feet under.

I can't see that.

Death is my greatest fear.

I just don't want to go.

I'm frightened.

And I don't know what to do.

Oh, it's a horrible feeling.

Why is it that the best days give way to the worst of lonely nights?

Is this karma trying to tell me something?

Distraught.

A good adjective for how I'm feeling.

And I'm unsure as to how to fix this.